You want to step fully into your leadership role and become more visible but find yourself hesitating every time. Each attempt to take action is thwarted by self-doubt, insecurities, and incessant self-comparisons. Your mind cleverly sabotages your aspirations, leaving you frustrated. Does this sound familiar?
Allow me to introduce Sarah, a highly accomplished executive vice president at a prestigious bank. Armed with an MBA and an impressive track record of achievements, Sarah appears to have it all. However, behind the polished exterior lies a persistent fear – the fear of being exposed as a fraud.
Despite her qualifications and undeniable competence, Sarah constantly compares herself to others and worries that her colleagues will one day discover that she doesn’t truly belong in the executive suite. She feels she should always know the answer, excel in every task, and never make a mistake.
The pressure of not meeting these unrealistic expectations led Sarah to over-prepare for presentations, double-check every detail, and consistently doubt her capabilities. She battles anxiety and depression, anticipating that any misstep could unravel the facade of competence she has meticulously crafted over the years.
Many of us experience moments of self-doubt like Sarah, fearing we’re not good enough despite evidence to the contrary. This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome, and it can impact our lives, from our professional endeavors to our personal relationships. Let’s explore what imposter syndrome is, its underlying causes, and effective strategies to overcome it.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome, first coined as “imposter phenomenon” by psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance, refers to a persistent belief that you are not as competent, intelligent, or successful as others believe you to be. Despite external evidence of your skills and achievements, those with imposter syndrome struggle to internalize their accomplishments and often live in fear of being exposed as a fraud.
Signs of Imposter Syndrome
- Self-doubt: Constantly questioning your abilities, even in the face of evidence of your competence.
- Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards for yourself and fearing failure or making mistakes.
- Overachievement: Working harder and longer than necessary to prove your worth.
- Downplaying success: Attributing your achievements to luck or external factors rather than acknowledging your skills and efforts.
- Fear of failure: Avoiding new challenges or opportunities out of fear of not meeting expectations.
If one or more of these are persistent in your life, don’t worry. You are not alone. Studies suggest that up to 70% of individuals experience imposter syndrome at some point in their careers.
How do people develop imposter syndrome?
The causes of imposter syndrome are complex and multifaceted. Some experts suggest that it may be linked to certain personality traits, such as perfectionism, while others argue that family background and values play significant roles. Childhood memories can have a lasting impact, and many of us may recall instances when we disappointed our parents, whether it was through academic challenges or underperformance in sports. It’s common for people to internalize the belief that in order to be loved they have to achieve.
Certainly, external influences, particularly from media and social media platforms, can exacerbate imposter feelings by perpetuating unrealistic standards, encouraging constant comparisons, and amplifying feelings of inadequacy. Here are some specific ways in which these external factors contribute:
Unrealistic Standards
Media, including advertising and entertainment, often propagates unrealistic ideals of success and accomplishment. Constant exposure to these standards can make individuals feel inadequate, even if they are achieving their own goals.
Comparison Culture
Social media frequently showcases an idealized version of people’s lives, emphasizing achievements, successes, and positive experiences. The constant exposure to curated images and stories can distort individuals’ perceptions of reality, fostering a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt through unfavorable comparisons.
Online Validation
Seeking likes, comments, and shares on social media reinforces the notion that one’s self-worth is dependent on external validation. This practice can create a perception that personal achievements are not genuinely deserved.
As we internalize beliefs formed by our personal experiences and adopt societal expectations as our own standards, we begin to create unconscious rules of competence, often beginning with terms like “should,” “always,” or “never.”
By understanding and challenging these rules, individuals can begin to reframe their thinking and develop a healthier mindset.
The Five Competence Types
Dr. Valerie Young, an author and expert on the topic, has categorized imposter syndrome into 5 different subgroups. Through her research, Young discovered that not all ‘imposters’ define competence in the same way. She uncovered 5 ‘competence types’ or internal rules that people who struggle with confidence attempt to follow. Recognizing your competence type can be a pivotal step in reframing your thinking.
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The Perfectionist: Striving for flawless outcomes, perfectionists set excessively high goals, leading to fear of failure and procrastination. Have you ever felt like your work must be 100% perfect, 100% of the time? Mindset Change: Embrace achievements and view mistakes as opportunities for growth.
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The Expert: Driven by the need to know everything, experts measure competence based on knowledge and constantly seek additional certifications. Do you shy away from applying to jobs unless you meet every single educational requirement Mindset Change: Practice just-in-time learning and don’t shy away from seeking help when needed.
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The Natural Genius: Competence is measured by ease and speed, and any setbacks are seen as failure, invoking shame and self-doubt. Are you used to excelling without much effort? Mindset Change: See yourself as a work in progress, embrace lifelong learning.
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The Soloist: Believing that tasks must be accomplished independently to prove their worth, soloists fear asking for help, viewing it as a sign of weakness. Do you firmly feel that you need to accomplish things on your own? Mindset Change: Recognize the value of collaboration and seek assistance when needed.
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The Super Achiever: Measuring competence based on juggling multiple roles flawlessly, super achievers fear falling short in any area and often overwork to prove their worth. Have you sacrificed personal passions for work? Mindset Change: Veer away from external validation, focus on internal confidence. |
Impact on Work and Relationships
Left unchecked, imposter syndrome has a negative impact on people’s relationships, work, and life satisfaction. The feelings of anxiety and inadequacy can lead people to avoid challenges or opportunities that would otherwise allow them to grow and shine.
They often overwork to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. And since they have a tendency to downplay their accomplishments and dismiss positive feedback, they perpetuate a cycle of overworking to avoid being exposed as a fraud. This cycle leads to stress, burnout, and strained relationships. Work becomes more of a chore than a source of meaning and purpose, and they lose much of their passion for what they do.
Research studies, such as one conducted at the University of Salzburg, show a link between imposter syndrome and negative outcomes such as lower pay, fewer chances for promotions, and lower job satisfaction.
Outside of work, people dealing with imposter syndrome may find it challenging to build meaningful relationships or fully engage with their social networks. Even when connections are made, the ongoing internal struggle of comparing oneself to others can take a toll, leading to frustration, anxiety, shame, and, in some cases, depression.
Strategies to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Overcoming imposter syndrome requires a concerted effort to change self-limiting beliefs and behaviors. Here are strategies to help you navigate the path to self-acceptance and confidence:
- Recognize Unhealthy Perfectionism: If you constantly fear failure, worry about making mistakes, or struggle with unrealistically high expectations, you might be dealing with unhealthy perfectionism. Set realistic goals, celebrate progress and learn to embrace imperfections.
- Separate Feelings from Fact: Feeling stupid doesn’t mean you are! Recognize that feelings of inadequacy don’t necessarily reflect reality. Replace self-critical beliefs with positive acknowledgments of your achievements. Create a portfolio of your accomplishments as a tangible reminder of your capabilities.
- Break the Silence: Share your feelings of impostorism with trusted friends, family, or a coach to break the shame-induced silence; you’re not alone. Knowing that others share similar feelings can help normalize your experiences and be empowering. Remember, even the most accomplished individuals sometimes feel like they’re “winging it.”
- Accentuate the Positive: Strive for excellence but forgive yourself for routine mistakes.
- Develop a Healthy Response to Setbacks: Understand that setbacks are a natural part of growth. Reframing negative thoughts around setbacks by viewing them as opportunities to learn and improve rather than confirmations of incompetence.
- Visualize Success: Picture yourself succeeding in challenging situations to build confidence and alleviate performance-related stress.
- Reward Yourself: Break the cycle of seeking external validation by taking time to celebrate your successes, big and small.
- Fake It ’til You Make It: Embrace the discomfort of uncertainty and take risks, even when confidence is lacking, to build self-assurance over time.
Embrace Your Journey
No matter your competence type or the depth of your imposter feelings, remember that everyone faces self-doubt at some point. By recognizing the signs, challenging the internal rules holding you back, reframing negative thoughts, and embracing your achievements, you can overcome imposter syndrome and unlock your true potential.